I was recently chatting with a friend about bedtime routines, and we were both surprised by each other’s schedules. She mentioned that her pre-teen regularly goes to bed after 10 PM, while I shared that we aim for an 8:30 PM bedtime. It got me thinking—what is the ideal bedtime for pre-teens during the school week? More importantly, how much sleep do kids ages 8-12 actually need?
Now, let me be clear—it’s so easy to say, “My kids go to bed at 8:30 every night,” but trust me, it’s a challenge and takes commitment every single day to stick to this schedule. Some nights, they push back. Some nights, life happens, and it doesn’t go as planned. But overall, we try to make sleep a priority because of how much it impacts their well-being.
How Much Sleep Do Pre-Teens Need?
According to How Much Sleep Kids Need: Recommended Hours by Age from Health Essentials, Cleveland Clinic, children ages 6-12 should get 9 to 12 hours of sleep per night. Dr. Shah states:
“Children need their sleep to be their best. Research shows that kids who get enough sleep show improvements in attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotional regulation, mental health, physical health, and overall quality of life.”
Since my girls wake up at 6:30 AM for school, we work backward from there, aiming for lights out between 8 and 8:30 PM.
The Challenge of Sticking to a Pre-Teen Bedtime
Of course, it hasn’t always been easy. Before Emma quit competitive gymnastics, late-night practices meant she wasn’t always getting enough sleep. Some nights, practice wouldn’t end until 8:30 PM—then factor in drive time, shower, and winding down. I used to tell myself that other kids were at the gym late too, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. But now that she’s on a regular schedule, I see the difference in her energy, focus, and mood.
Bedtime routines are even more of a challenge now that my girls have separate rooms. I’ve always stayed with them until they fall asleep, and now that they’re in different spaces, it takes more time each night but sticking to the routine helps them fall asleep faster.
The Science Behind Sleep: Why It Matters for Pre-Teens
Sleep isn’t just about rest—it plays a crucial role in a child’s physical and mental development. While they sleep, their brains process new information, their bodies release growth hormones, and their immune systems recharge. Well-rested kids tend to:
- Perform better academically
- Have improved mood and emotional regulation
- Be more physically active and coordinated
- Get sick less often
That’s why I’ve always prioritized bedtime, even when it wasn’t easy.
4 Tips for Managing Bedtime for Pre-Teens
If you’re struggling with keeping your child’s bedtime on track, here are four strategies that have helped in our home:
1. Work Backward from Wake-Up Time
Determine when your child needs to be up and count backward to ensure they get at least 9-10 hours of sleep. For us, a 6:30 AM wake-up means an 8:00 PM bedtime so they are asleep by 8:30 PM.
2. Create a Wind-Down Routine
A consistent bedtime routine signals to the brain that it’s time to rest. In our house, this includes showers, pajamas, reading, and dimming the lights. Screen time is off limits at least 30 minutes before bed.
3. Stay as Consistent as Possible
Life happens—sports, homework, and events can sometimes push bedtime later. But aiming for consistency as much as possible helps keep their internal clock on track. Even on weekends, we don’t let bedtime shift too drastically.
4. Make Sleep a Priority
Understanding the benefits of sleep makes it easier to enforce bedtime. Well-rested kids perform better in school, regulate emotions more effectively, and stay healthier overall. So even when my kids push back, I remind myself (and them) why it’s important.
Common Sleep Disruptors (and How to Manage Them)
Even with the best intentions, some things can make it hard for kids to fall asleep and stay asleep:
- Screen time before bed – Blue light from devices can delay melatonin production. We turn off screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime. (Read more about this is my post Screen Time Rules That Actually Work: Managing Screen Time for Kids.)
- Late-night activities – Before Emma quit competitive gymnastics, she wasn’t always getting the sleep she needed. If your child has evening commitments, try adjusting their routine so they can wind down quickly.
- Diet and caffeine – Sugary snacks or caffeine (even in things like chocolate) too close to bedtime can interfere with sleep.
- An inconsistent sleep schedule – Even a couple of late nights can throw off a child’s internal clock, making it harder for them to fall asleep on time.
Weekend Sleep vs. Weeknight Sleep
I’ll be honest and say that sometimes on weekends, my kids go to bed very late, depending on what we have going on. But I try to help them sleep in the next day to make up for it. One thing that helps? They don’t have the TV enticing them to wake up early on Saturday mornings. I’ve found they naturally sleep longer when they know screen time isn’t an option the second they wake up.
Final Thoughts
Every family has different schedules and commitments, but making sure pre-teens get enough sleep is crucial for their development. While an 8:30 PM bedtime works for us, the key is finding a schedule that ensures your child gets the recommended 9-12 hours of rest.
Does your pre-teen have a set bedtime? How do you manage sleep schedules in your home? Let’s discuss in the comments!
Reference:
Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). How much sleep kids need: Recommended hours by age. Health Essentials. Retrieved February 10, 2025, from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/recommended-amount-of-sleep-for-children