Discover the lessons learned from letting my child quit gymnastics after 4 years. This heartfelt story offers valuable insights for parents on balancing dedication, supporting their child’s passions, and knowing when to let go.
As a parent, you want the best for your children, both in terms of their opportunities and their personal growth. When Emma was four years old, my husband and I decided to sign her up for a recreational gymnastics class. Little did we know that this decision would not only transform Emma’s life but also our own. The journey was full of ups and downs, excitement, tears, and hard lessons. Looking back, I’ve learned so much, not just about gymnastics, but about the importance of balancing passion, dedication, and the occasional need to let go.
When Emma first joined her gymnastics class in the middle of the chaotic COVID times, I had no idea where the path would take us. She was a natural; her enthusiasm and energy caught the attention of her coach, and before we knew it, she was invited to join the Junior Pre-Team. From there, things started escalating quickly, and before we could catch our breath, Emma was officially on the competitive gymnastics team. It was thrilling, but also overwhelming. Gymnastics became our family’s life.
The Early Days: Excitement and Glitter
I’ll never forget the excitement in our home when Emma got ready for her first pre-team competition. It felt like a milestone—her first real test in front of an audience. I made sure she had a solid breakfast, and yes, I put glitter on her face and shoulders because, well, what’s a gymnastics competition without a little sparkle? We were promptly scolded by her coach later on, as she told the group of parents that gymnasts are athletes and don’t need makeup. Whoops! But even in the midst of our little makeup mishap, we were bursting with pride when Emma took home second place. It was such a proud moment for all of us, and I could see the fire in her eyes.
From there, it only got more intense. Emma’s practice schedule grew to two hours, twice a week. Every time she accomplished something new, I felt like we were moving forward on this incredible journey. And yet, behind the pride and the excitement, there were real sacrifices we made, both in terms of time and finances.
The Investment: Time, Money, and Priorities
Gymnastics quickly became more than just an extracurricular activity. It became a lifestyle. The fees were astronomical; every new season seemed to bring another round of costs for uniforms, competitions, and travel. We quickly learned that if we didn’t prioritize gymnastics, it would be nearly impossible to fit everything in. Before scheduling anything else in our lives, we had to check the gymnastics calendar. That was the priority, and we lived and breathed it.
The practices were held close to our home but across town from our offices, so my husband and I would take turns leaving work early to pick Emma up from school and rush her to practice. It was wild trying to make it all work, but somehow, we did. Weekends were filled with long drives to competitions across the state. I never knew how much time I would spend in the car, but it became part of the routine.
What stood out the most during these years was the mental and physical strength gymnastics instilled in Emma. As a young child, she was competing in front of judges, learning what it meant to succeed and to fail. I watched her grow stronger, not just physically but also emotionally. She learned how to handle both victory and defeat. The feeling of getting first place was thrilling, but even when she didn’t score as well as she’d hoped, I saw her resilience. That was one of the most important lessons gymnastics taught her: that failure is a part of growth.
Any gymnastics mom will know exactly what I’m talking about. We become a part of the gym culture. We’re the ones running around with bags full of snacks, extra leotards, and hand sanitizer, all while trying to manage the chaos of practices, meets, and endless schedules. And don’t even get me started on the constant supply of competition fees, hotel stays, and gas money for road trips. It’s a lifestyle, and it’s not for the faint of heart. But the pride in seeing your child’s growth, both on and off the mat, makes it all worth it.
The Hardest Lesson: Letting Go
After months of practice, dedication, and hard work, Emma moved up to Level 2. This meant three practices a week—two 3-hour sessions and one 4.5-hour session. We had it down to a science: dinner in the car, homework on the weekends, and constant adjustments to our schedule to accommodate this new reality. For a while, it felt like gymnastics was everything.
But then came the moment I had never anticipated. Six months into training for Level 2, Emma dropped a bombshell. Two weeks before the first meet of the season, she told me she didn’t want to continue with gymnastics anymore. I was caught off guard, and my heart sank. We had invested so much time, energy, and money into this journey. She had worked so hard to get here, how could she just walk away?
At first, I thought it was just a phase. After all, she’d expressed similar concerns before, especially when she was nervous about new coaches moving up with her team. I told her to go to one more practice and then we would talk about it. But when she came back from practice, the look on her face told me everything. She was happy—genuinely happy—and seemed at peace with her decision. I was still holding onto the hope that she’d change her mind, but deep down, I knew it was time to respect her choice. She had made up her mind.
I had to fight back tears. I didn’t want her to see me cry. But I also knew that I couldn’t let my emotions dictate her decisions. This was her life, not mine. I tried to keep my composure and asked her to go back in and tell her coaches. Maybe that would help her reconsider. To my shock, she agreed. She walked back in and calmly explained to her coaches that she was ready to step away from gymnastics.
I lost it outside. A friend who overheard the conversation came out to comfort me, but honestly, she was crying harder than I was! There were so many emotions flowing through me. It felt like everything we had worked for was unraveling before my eyes. But as much as it hurt, I knew in my gut that it was time. Sometimes, you have to trust your child’s instincts and honor their decisions, even if it’s painful.
The Aftermath: Finding New Passions
When we got home, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for over an hour. I texted and talked to a close friend, who, as a fellow parent, understood exactly how I felt. This conversation really helped me. So find yourself a trusted friend to lean on during difficult times! I had invested so much into gymnastics—not just in terms of money, but emotionally too. It was hard to accept that Emma wasn’t going to continue.
But I also knew that this was a moment of growth for both of us. It was important for Emma to make her own decisions and not feel pressured into continuing something just because we had invested so much. We had always taught her to work hard and push through challenges, but there was a fine line between perseverance and forcing something that no longer felt right.
Emma never looked back. She’s now happily playing tennis, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Gymnastics is no longer part of our lives, and Emma doesn’t even talk about it anymore. When I ask her if she misses it, she simply says, “No, but I could use more playdates with my old teammates.” The shift was seamless, and Emma is thriving in her new activity.
Lessons Learned for Parents: Embrace the Journey, But Know When to Let Go
This entire experience has taught me so much about parenting, about dedication, and about the importance of following your instincts. As parents, we invest so much in our children’s growth, but it’s equally important to know when to step back. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how you should support your child’s passions. For us, gymnastics was a beautiful chapter, but ultimately, it wasn’t Emma’s forever passion.
But here’s something important I want to emphasize: We never let Emma quit something without making absolutely sure that it was the right time. Even when she first expressed doubts about continuing during the transition from Level 1 to Level 2, we didn’t just let her walk away. It was a passing thought—one she voiced when she was anxious about new coaches. We encouraged her to push through and see if her feelings changed. And they did. But when the same concerns resurfaced six months later, we knew it was time to listen to her. We didn’t rush to a decision, and we didn’t allow her to quit just because things were difficult. But when the time came for her to step away, we supported her. Sometimes, as parents, it’s about knowing when to encourage perseverance and when to honor their feelings.
Here are the lessons I’ve learned about knowing when to let your child quit something:
As a parent, figuring out when to support your child’s decision to quit an activity is incredibly challenging. You want them to persevere, but sometimes, it’s clear that they’ve outgrown the experience or simply lost their passion. Here are some key indicators I learned to look for, especially in Emma’s case:
1. Their Excitement Is No Longer the Same: your child no longer shows the excitement or enthusiasm they once had for the activity, it might be a sign that their heart isn’t in it anymore. With gymnastics, Emma started to lose the spark that once made her look forward to each practice.
2. They’re Suddenly Not As Focused: If your child starts losing focus during practices or activities, it could indicate they’ve checked out emotionally. Gymnastics, with its intense focus and discipline, requires 100% engagement. Emma’s mental disengagement was one of the signs that it might be time to reevaluate.
3. They’re Not Making Progress: While Emma continued to make progress in gymnastics, for some kids, a lack of improvement can be a red flag that they’re no longer motivated or invested. This doesn’t always apply, but when progress stagnates over time and there’s no desire to push through the difficulty, it’s a key sign.
4. They’ve Expressed a Desire for Something New: A sudden interest in another activity or sport is a strong indicator that your child may be ready to move on. Emma expressed her interest in ballet (before transitioning to tennis), which helped me see that her heart was shifting away from gymnastics.
Recognizing these signs isn’t always easy, but it’s important to listen to your child and trust your instincts as a parent. Sometimes, stepping away opens up space for new opportunities and passions to grow.
What Emma Learned from Quitting Gymnastics:
Emotional Resilience: The experience taught her how to handle difficult decisions and stick with them when necessary.
Self-Discovery: Stepping away from gymnastics allowed Emma to discover a new passion in tennis, helping her to find something she truly seems to love. Time will tell.
Confidence in Change: Emma learned that it’s okay to change your mind and try something new. This will serve her throughout her life.
Tips for Parents When Your Child Wants to Quit Something They’ve Invested So Much Into:
1. Listen to Their Feelings: Acknowledge how they feel and give them space to express why they want to quit. It’s crucial to understand the root cause.
2. Encourage Reflection: Ask them to think about whether this is a temporary feeling or if they’ve truly lost interest.
3. Give Them a Trial Period: Sometimes, a short break or one or even a few more practices can help them gain clarity. This worked for Emma when she agreed to try one more class before deciding.
4. Weigh the Investment: Acknowledge the time, energy, and money you’ve invested, but remember it’s about their happiness and future, not just your effort.
5. Know When to Let Go: Trust your instincts. If it’s clear they’re not passionate about continuing, let them step away without guilt.
6. Support Their New Interests: If they want to pursue something else, like Emma with tennis, be their biggest cheerleader in this new endeavor.
When to Encourage One More Try:
1. When They’re Feeling Discouraged: If they’ve had a tough time but have shown passion for the activity in the past, encourage them to try again after a brief break. Sometimes, a little time away can give them the clarity they need to return with renewed enthusiasm.
2. When It’s a Short-Term Challenge: If they’re struggling with one aspect of the activity (like mastering a tough skill) but still enjoy it overall, it might be worth encouraging them to keep going. Progress takes time, and this could just be a phase they need to push through.
3. When They Feel Like They’re Missing Out: If your child starts to feel they are missing out on other experiences, like playdates or school activities, because their time is monopolized by gymnastics or any other sport, it may be time to reassess. A short break could help them see how attending other events or spending time with friends affects their overall happiness and sense of balance. Sometimes, kids just need a little more variety in their lives to reignite their excitement for their sport.
The most important thing I learned is that it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to be heartbroken, but it’s also okay to trust your child’s path. Emma learned so much through gymnastics, from physical strength to emotional resilience. And even though she’s moved on to something else, those lessons will stay with her forever.
Secretly, I still wonder sometimes. Today was a hard day. My phone reminded me of the competition this past weekend, and it got me thinking—what if…what if she continued? How would she have closed out the season? I still think about it here and there, but I have to remind myself that it’s her life, not mine. She has no idea how I feel—and that’s exactly how it should be.
If you’re on a similar journey, navigating your child’s extracurricular activities, juggling schedules, and pouring your heart into their success, just remember that it’s all part of the process. Let them try, let them fail, and most importantly, let them grow. After all, that’s what “Ina Figures It Out” is all about: figuring out life, one lesson at a time.